The Deaducation Project
About the Founder
My name is Wendie Gonzalez. I'm a death doula, end-of-life advocate, and death educator.
Originally from Washington State, I now make my home in the Puna district on Hawai‘i Island. I returned to Washington when my grandparents needed end-of-life support, and I had the privilege of caring for them through their final transitions. Not long afterward, I was honored to care for my mother during her final journey as well.
Each of these three experiences shaped me deeply—each death was unique. Hospice services were incredibly helpful, but I came to realize how powerful it would have been to have someone provide practical, compassionate support alongside hospice care. That realization was the spark that led me to this calling.
As I grew into my role as a death doula, I saw an urgent need for both guidance in completing the paperwork we all need and for deeper education about the realities of death. In response, I began facilitating community death dialogue circles and group advance directive workshops to walk people through completing essential paperwork. I also founded a volunteer-based organization that helps neighbors who wish to die at home but have little or no support system.
Honesty, compassion, and integrity form the backbone of both my work and my personal ethos. I don't believe talking about death is morbid—it’s vital. I aim to educate with clarity and candor, helping people feel empowered rather than fearful.
I offer services that include doula support for end-of-life navigation, facilitating difficult conversations, leading group discussions, and providing informational consultations. Wherever you are on your journey, I’m here to help hold space with knowledge, grace, and care.
Call or Text 808-938-6785
Death Doula Services
Free 30-minute consultation-in person or virtually
You get to know me, my offerings and how I can be of service to you and your situation.
3-Hour Doula Session-in person or virtually-$150
(No charge for Kanaka)
*Assess your caregiving space and set up
*Helpful tips on non medical hands on care
*Logistical pointers to make caregiving easier
*An opportunity to openly ask questions about death and dying with no judgment
*Time to talk about what you're experiencing during this end of life journey with someone who is neutral and experienced
*3 hours to address any specific or unusual needs your situation may present or non typical support you may have questions about.
*3 hour family/friends meeting on what to expect before death, during active dying, and after death. Take time to facilitate difficult conversations, dispel misunderstands or mediate different perspectives on how to handle what's happening.
Support Visits
This is where your wishes and preferences are turned into action.
I serve with the mindset of honoring your autonomy to have choices through illness and active dying, and to help you achieve what you want at end of life. I will be the gatekeeper of your wishes.
In-person visits can minimize the sense of isolation by providing emotional and physical support.
Services may include any, all or variations of the following:
• Mediation and advocacy so that the dying person’s wishes are honored
• Implementation of the dying person's wishes in the last weeks and hours of life
• Non-medical comfort measures
• Creating the preferred environment for the dying person: including colors, scents, views, music, people, prayers, rituals etc.
• Demonstrating comforting touch
• Respite for tired caregiver(s)
• The chance for a caregiver to take off the caregiver hat and step back into their role as a partner, friend, child or lover while I take over caregiving
• Emotional and physical support for the dying and their loved ones
• Bedside presence (around the clock during active dying)
• Vigil planning
• Supporting loved ones in their grief
Hourly rate $55
20 hour package-$899
40 hour package-$1900
Hourly rate for hours that go beyond package purchases $30
Customized packages discussed during your consultation.
MAID Doula Support
$500
Medical Aid in Dying
(Death With Dignity)
The Our Care Our Choice Act allows for a resident of Hawaii with a terminal diagnosis, less than 6 months to live and deemed mentally competent to make an informed decision to request a prescription for medications they may self-ingest that will end their life.
I offer full doula services for those who choose this, starting with supporting your decision making process all the way through to the chosen date of death. I can provide heartfelt guidance and support for the person taking the medication as well as their loved ones. I will lovingly explain what to expect all along the way.
Contact me to discuss in more detail.
Call or Text 808-938-6785
The Deaducation Project
Things I'm Dying to Tell you
Helpful Bits, Honest Truths, and Death-Adjacent Wisdom I Can't Keep to Myself
Food and Fluids at-the End of Life
Decreasing food and fluid intake is a common, natural part of the dying process. Most dying people do not experience thirst or hunger as death approaches. Giving food and fluids by artificial means (e.g., intravenously) does not typically prolong life or improve its quality. Providing food and fluids by artificial means may, in fact, increase distressing symptoms such as shortness of breath, respiratory congestion, restlessness, nausea and vomiting.
When people have difficulty swallowing, eating and drinking may put them at risk for choking. Artificial hydration does not usually prevent or improve thirst or relieve dry mouth. Frequent mouth care can help relieve a dry mouth.
Because many family traditions revolve around food and drink as a way of showing love and care, they wonder if they are being neglectful, even hurtful by not ensuring their loved one has food and drink. They may feel like they are giving up on them.
Nothing could be further from the truth. It's simply part of the dying process. A person's need for food and water are significantly less than those of an active, healthy person.
Hospice does not deny a patient food or drink, if the dying person wants to eat or drink, there are no restrictions on doing so. However, for most patients, there comes a point where they simply do not want or need food or liquids.
As someone nears the end of life, their body loses its ability to digest and process food and liquids. Organs and bodily functions begin to shut down and minimal amounts of nutrition or hydration are needed, if at all.
Continuing to insist that your loved one receives food and water, including artificial nutrition or hydration through nasal or stomach feeding tubes, can cause distress. Forcing food and liquids can cause additional physical problems and discomfort.
If you're feeling anxious about your loved one's disinterest in food and liquids, talk to your doula or hospice care team. They can help you understand the process of dying and the changes going on in your loved one's body. They can provide other suggestions to make your loved one feel comfortable to show your love and care.
Our bodies know what they're doing at the end of life. Caring for a dying person is something many people haven't been through, so not providing hydration or food for your loved seems counterintuitive. We understand that it might feel wrong.
Don't be afraid to ask for clarification. Talk to the people working with your loved one. It's important for you have an understanding of what's normal during the dying process.
The Deaducation Project